Lets start with friendship and expectations.
I have learned not to put expectations on people especially friendships but I think I still do it but I try to not let it get in the way. If you knew what I expected from a friend and how i think friendships should be like you would think me as high maintenance and I wouldn't argue, this is why I put those aside and love without conditions. I do not care that you are a druggie, homosexual, not a christian, atheist, a wicken, etc, I would love you because one I am a screw up and a horrible person too and second because God loves unconditionally. He told us to love, yeah I can not like you and be annoyed by someone but I would love them, I would serve them, I love because Jesus has taught me how to. Thinking of what He died for and how much He loved us that He went through all that horrific punishment/abuse; I want people to know they are so loved by someone so amazing (God).
If I put expectations and conditions on who can and can not be my friend I would have a lonely life, a boring life and a cold heart, oh and I would be super prideful. They keep my so humble, they help me see God (even those who are not pursuing God's heart), they keep me going, I love it. I feel God's love for them, how beautiful He sees everyone, and He tells me STOP JUDGING! Yes I do judge but you won't hear it come out of my mouth (I am not perfect... so it will slip once in a while) but I ask for forgiveness (even if i do not speak it out). Expectations and Conditions is what ruins lives, friendships, families and etc.
This is why I do not have a man yet in my life, because I have expectations on him already when I haven't even met the guy! He is so unlucky right now. I need these expectations to be destroyed and fully know that God is the only one who can meet these needs.
What made me think of this?
Well sometimes I feel like I am not valued by friends and I started putting expectations on them while I was at work and getting angry at them in my heart. Sometimes I would love to have a friend come and visit me at work, or just at my home or wherever I am. Distance should not mean anything. As I was walking my dog around the soccer fields at school I could see Downtown Dallas and remember I am all the way at UT Dallas a good 30-40 mins away from Downtown. I started thinking of distance and friendships. I started thinking of how people make distance an excuse for things, but if a relationship is important wouldn't you take the drive, the ride, the flight and the time to see someone. I know I would, I would drive. I would go to where ever they work and say hello,because I know it gives them joy and know they are loved and valued, everyone wants to know they are. I would wake up at 2am to go be at a friends side, I would wake up at 530am to pick you up and take you to work, I would drive how ever the distance (even without having gas or the money to fill it up) to pick you up from work, to take you to work, to just see you if you need a friend or if I just really wanted a hug from you. I know I sound stuck up and etc but this is what I really see friendship should be like. If Jesus laid down His life for us, shouldn't we for everyone too? He spent the wee hours of the morning just for Him and Daddy time then the rest of the day before bed He spent loving and ministering to people, not once was it about Him. This is what I aim to do, to pray for people, to love people and to minister to everyone.
(when I say you it is to whoever is reading this)
I struggle with knowing I am loved, I am valued. Words don't work for me, someone can tell me they love me, they value me, and care for me, but if there is no action it really just doesn't sink in no matter how many times someone says those words it won't sink in.
This made me start thinking about Philip and how he was transported
If we had enough faith could we all be transported whenever we wanted to be?
If we had a strong desire could we be transported?
If God grants the desires of our hearts then I say we should be able to if we just believed it.
If we are the body of Christ shouldn't we be able to be transported to just go see a friend a believer or not, to minister to them or just to connect?
I believe yes, friendship (community) is so important, even Jesus says it is.
I would love to be transported to see my friends in Minnesota, California, Houston, Florida, Missouri, etc, to connect with my other "body parts" and know how they are doing and to commune with them.
I would love to text my friend in Minnesota and ask them if they are home and if yes tell them "I will be there in a minute" and just transport there and give them a big hug and encourage one another.
To hear her play her music that is so prophetic and from Heaven.
To hear her play her music that is so prophetic and from Heaven.
The body parts should never be far from one another, distance should not be an issue since we have to work together.
I desire to have this be so common that a car, a plane, a boat, a train and etc would never be necessary, NOT EVEN A PASSPORT!
I want to be able to have my stuff packed and be like "God, where are we going today?!"
If my husband has a day job or anything that makes me him go to work and while my kids go to school, I want to be the woman who sends her husband to work and her kids to school and then grabs her bible and is transported to where God wants me to be that day and minister to people for a few hours and bring me back home to pick up the kids and make dinner for my husband and have a time where we would pray for the people I would have met.
My husband and I on the weekends would go to another country and minister.
My desire is to be transported everywhere God wants me and to do His will.
To be His ambassador, His messenger
Then this made me think about my heart and faith.
Yes I love God but I am not obsessed with Him
I want Him to be my obsession, not the desire to have a husband, or the boy that will never fully satisfy me.
I don't want my need of money to be my obsession,
I do not want my eyes on my empty wallet and empty bank account but I want my eyes on the Lord ALWAYS
If I had enough faith in God I would never have to remind my self He will provide
I would never have to deal with this anxiety and body pain all over my body every end of the month.
I would not have to hide under my covers and sleep away my life.
I would have my eyes on Him and eating His word daily.
I would never put aside His word for facebook, for television, for an unnecessary nap.
I need more of Him and I desire more of Him but my flesh is such a battle.
I just want to have more faith in Him, trust more in Him and be so much more in love with Him.
I WANT MY FLESH TO DIE--- I NEED IT TO DIE
I WANT MY LOVER TO CONSUME ME -- I NEED HIM TO CONSUME ME.
I WANT JESUS TO BE MY OBSESSION FOREVER AND EVER.
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