Monday, September 5, 2011

Giving Up

A LOTTTTT has been going on. Something "bad" happened about every day this past week and it made me a bitter heart towards God.
I just wanted to give up to be done with everything and not do this anymore.
I was screaming, crying to God and telling Him I didn't like Him.
I felt like a beggar and not a daughter. 

I was so overwhelmed with everything that I forgot all that I have to do is sit in the chair and keep my eyes on Him, to watch what He is doing. I forgot to seek His kingdom, I forgot to lay everything down at His feet. I forgot to "give up" everything, to let it go and let Him do His thing. 

I want more of God, I am so hungry and thirsty for Him. 

I do not know what I am going to do but I know I can trust in my Father, even when my flesh says I can't, when it tells me "there must not be a God" (yes those thoughts still come by at times).

Even right now my flesh doesn't want to believe that God will be faithful, but I choose to push through that and know He will because He has before (many times). 

I ask that He provides me with patience, because I do not have any. 
I want to be satisfied by Him and only by Him.

I need His refreshing love, power, mercy, joy, patience, and grace.

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