I need to stop.

Why do I pursue guys?
Why do I seek to find "the one"?
Why do I always flirt?

I wish I didn't have these tendencies.  I do not want to be like this anymore. I do not want to care for finding a man. I just want to stay away from that area. No dating, not thinking of marriage, not thinking of the future. I just want to have my eyes focused on God and His Beauty.
I want to be ravished by Him and His Glory.

I do not want to be focused on any man (except Jesus)
I want it to go away. I want to be set free from this desire! This want of having a man in my life.
To have someone care for me.
To know I am loved.
WHEN I SHOULD HAVE THAT IN GOD!
I KNOW I DO BUT SOMEHOW MY SOUL DOESN'T SEE IT.

Clearly I need a lot of growing up to do spiritually before I can even consider dating a man. Yes I say man because who ever I end up marrying might have to be in their mid/late twenties... Since I am having to live as a 30 year old already.
How am I going to be married to a man when I can not get satisfaction in God alone? I will put so many expectation on my husband that it would destroy the marriage. I need to be in total satisfaction in God before I can even say yes to a man.

I need more of you Lord... So much more of you.